The sauce for the goose is the sauce for the gander

I watched a Youtube video today about a girl who snaps at her boyfriend at a grocery store over whether or not they had cheese. Although they were clearly acting and it was intended to be funny playing on the theme that, “The woman is always right, even when she is not,” it honestly made me realize how normalized mistreating men is in today’s society. As I sit here and think about the video, I realized that women abusing men is considered perfectly normal, if not humorous, even when it crosses over the border of abuse. If the roles were reversed, the general public would be outraged, not amused. The male is supposed to just “take it” because he is a man and not stand up for himself and say “Don’t treat me like this.” The man is supposed to assume that the treatment is justified because she is either A.) Hormonal, B.) In a bitchy mood, or the best excuse that we give that tops it all, C.) A woman. This doesn’t exactly make men look intelligent or sensitive, and at the same time it belittles women as well.

I remember once while working at my old job hearing a girl insult her boyfriend over the phone. The girls around her encouraged her as she made demeaning comments about his intellect and size of his genitals. Of course the man on the phone “took it” and just said “Why are you so f***ing mean?” Her response? “Because your dumb ass pisses me off.” 

That is one of many examples of “societally justified” mistreatment. The Webster’s Dictionary definition of “verbal abuse” according to Prevention Violence is, “The excessive use of language to undermine someone's dignity and security through insults or humiliation, in a sudden or repeated manner.”

We as women want to be treated equally, so maybe we should start by treating the opposite sex the way that we want to be treated. It is not okay to insult anyone, male or female, angry or not. “PMSing” is not a valid excuse to mistreat anyone.  Neither is throwing your gender in someone’s face for justification of any form of abuse. You cannot expect gender equality and then hide behind a gender stereotype when it is convenient to do so. 

Just because you are a woman doesn’t mean that you have any right to control anyone that you are dating or married like a puppet. You should treat the man that you are with the way that you would want him to treat you. Do you want a man that tries to understand you? Then you should show equal effort to try to understand him. Be the person that you would want to be with. Ask yourself, if you were a man, would you date you?

Just because society gives us women a, “Get out of jail free card,” doesn’t mean we have the right to use it anytime we feel like it. Men are not objects to control, neither are woman. We are all humans just trying to make it by in life. Relationships are supposed to be two people that love and support each other. Not one woman making excuses to use her partner as a punching bag. Abuse is abuse, no matter what gender you were born.