Just Not My Thing

                Yesterday I went to see a Journey tribute band playing live. I met up with a beautiful couple that had been together for close to 20 years and had some amazing conversations while listening to the music on the green grass. What I found to be the most amusing was while “people watching” I was able to observe such a togetherness in the community.  It was as though music bound together the souls of complete strangers into a beautiful tapestry of humanity. I saw a rare unity on that field and watched as individuals of all ages held their hands up, danced and swayed in unison to the melodies floating in the air.

I was in a complete state of relaxation as a cool breeze brushed my skin and the sun set behind me creating a cascade of vibrant colors streaking across the sky. After about twenty minutes, the couple that I was chatting with broke out a bottle of white wine and offered me a glass in a small plastic cup. I politely declined, which of course brought about a questioning look which lead to a small conversation about how I don’t really drink. The kind woman with the short black hair commended me for hardly drinking which caused me to think back on my own personal history.

I never liked the taste of alcohol and the only time that I found myself drinking in any regular fashion was for a very few months when my depression became so severe that the only way I could think about handling my despair was by drowning it in a liquid poison, so that I might escape my own reality for a few hours. I admit that it was an unhealthy way of dealing with things and I wouldn’t suggest it for anyone. The heavy drinking for me only lasted about 7 months before I stopped. I decided that I wanted more out of my life. I realized that I was a wreck and I was becoming the person I swore I would never become. I stopped drinking completely for a while and even though I was never addicted to booze, the thought of allowing alcohol back into my body was only an unpleasant reminder of the pit that I had emerged from and I never wanted to return to that darkness.

During the time immediately after I stopped drinking, my eyes were open to the ugly truth about today’s society. I would go out with my friends to a dance club or a concert and order myself a pineapple juice or a water with a splash of cranberry. I didn’t want to get drunk. I loved dancing, so I knew that I would have just as much fun, if not more, just being sober and getting a thrill from life. When I would have someone attractive hit on me, they would offer to buy me a drink and I would say “I would love a water.” I cannot tell you how many times I would get an eye roll or have the person hitting on me refuse to get me a water and when I wouldn’t get an alcoholic beverage, they would make a rude remark and storm off as if I had just rejected them. At first this upset me. I began to question if maybe I was being too stiff by not wanting to drink the toxic cocktails that everyone around me was drinking. After a while I began to realize how silly all of this was and I realized that if I was trying to hit on someone and they said water, I would get them the biggest glass of water I could find.

 Not wanting to drink when everyone else is drinking doesn’t make someone stiff.  It means that they are strong enough to know what they like and what they don’t like and will not bend to peer pressure even when it means rejection. I recently was invited to a dinner party where I was continuously pressured to drink by women who were older than me. Even though now I occasionally have one drink over dinner, my stomach was very upset and drinking was not on the menu for me. I tried to be as polite as possible by saying that I was not wanting to drink but also trying to be a lady about why I didn’t want to drink. The people in that house didn’t want to take “no” for an answer and even though the owners of the house respected me after asking me multiple times, the fellow guests didn’t. Finally a woman with a baby strapped to her chest snapped at me, “You know it’s really rude not to take a drink when it’s offered to you.” I looked down at her baby, over to her wine glass, then back up to her, and just walked away. There were so many things that I wanted to say but I chose to keep my mouth shut.

                You should never be made to feel like you have to drink alcohol when others are drinking around you. Think of it like this, if everyone else at the table orders a soda and you order a water, does everyone look down at you? Do they laugh at you and make rude remarks about the fact that you are not wanting to have fun? No.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to have a drink, but putting the person beside you down for not drinking is wrong. Pressuring someone into doing what you are doing is belittling the decision that they have made for themselves. Their decision should be respected and just because they are not drinking doesn’t mean they won’t have fun. I have always found it silly that the most common pick-up line in today’s society is offering to buy someone an overpriced beverage that addles the mind so that you aren’t living in the moment and can lead to heart disease, liver damage and kidney failure. Smooth move America.