I'm speaking to you from the depths of my heart

            I am writing you this raw blog today in the middle of what most people would call a “really bad day.” Today reminded me of Murphy’s Law where truly “everything that can go wrong will go wrong”. After having the morning from hell, I finally arrived at the airport and realized that on top of everything else that was happening, I left my wallet (which was a gift from an old friend) in the back of the Uber car. I was fighting to stay positive but failing miserably. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream and punch the windows of the airport and in my head I was dramatically curling up in a ball and eating as many cinnamon pretzels that I could possibly fit in my mouth at once. The reason why this was just in my head and not actually happening was because I had no money on me so even though I wanted to eat comfort food, I couldn’t. I sat down on the floor beside the glass doors and did the next best thing. I called a friend of mine and started to unload. I felt like in one day’s time my entire life was starting to fall apart. I just wanted to go home, cry, and hug my dog.

 After about 30 minutes of stressful searching, I finally found the phone number to the Uber driver and called him, telling him that I had left my wallet in the car. I could tell that he got nervous when he responded with the words, “I have another passenger in my car right now who is sitting where you were.” My heart dropped. My wallet not only was name-brand but also had about $60 dollars in it, my driver’s license, and my debit card. The driver asked me to hold on for a moment and I heard a muffled conversation of the driver asking the passenger if he saw any wallet in the car. My heart was pounding. I was terrified that I would be stuck in New York City without any way to get home or even buy a meal.

                The driver came back on the phone and told me that they found my wallet but he had to drop off the passenger first. As he said this a wave of relief came over me. After an hour, the driver drove back and handed me my wallet. Before he left, I opened up my wallet and saw that he hadn’t taken out any of my money and had returned me everything just how I left it. I was impressed with the kindness and honesty that this human who didn’t even know me, demonstrated. He didn’t have to return my wallet. He could have claimed that he couldn’t find it. He could have kept the money and sold the wallet but he chose to drive all the way back to the airport because he was kind.

In return for his kindness I gave him the $60 I had in my wallet and thanked him for doing what he did. It was the least that I could do for him for reminding me that there are still good people in the world. I felt blessed to experience this act of kindness on a day that I don’t ever want to relive.

                I am writing you in the middle of my hard day because I want you to see me at my rawest point. It is one thing to write about having a bad day after it happens and speak about positivity as though that is all I ever feel. I want you to see me at my rawest point because I am in the moment, now, as I write this. The Uber driver’s gesture is a light shining out through my storm of darkness.

 Yes, I am so stressed out that I did buy those cinnamon pretzels along with an overpriced coconut water to somehow lift my spirits. Yes, I am smiling with watering eyes while writing. I keep looking out the window and seeing how pretty the clouds look, distracting myself with their beauty. I am fighting to stay positive and it’s working. Yes I still feel like I have a pit in my stomach but I know that in the end there is a lesson that I will learn from this. I am thankful that I am learning. 

 I realized that yes, several bad things did happen today but that doesn’t make my day bad. Sometimes a bunch of bad things happen in our day but it doesn’t mean there isn’t still good. It is very easy to lose perspective. I am alive and I have so much to be thankful for, including my wallet being returned to me. I am taking a deep breath in and thanking the universe for teaching me whatever lesson it is teaching me today. I am looking at every little thing I have to be thankful for and seeing that there is still beauty around me and I am smiling from ear to ear, even though there are tears in my eyes because life is wonderful, even though at times it can be hard.