Bucky the Human Slayer

                Today I went out to a horse ranch to train a horse named Kiowa. I was told that this horse is somewhat lazy but generally a good horse, so I expected little to no problems during this lesson. I figured that I would be done within an hour and then able to go home and finish writing one of the projects that I am currently working on.

                Today was actually a very beautiful day, one where many butterflies lazily fluttered from flower to flower around the ranch.  I parked my red Volkswagen in front of a large male peacock who was resting in shade of the barn. The golden sun warmed my skin as I got out of my car and promptly almost tripped over a chicken who daringly refused to move. The chicken, startled by my stumble, gave me a dirty look and clucked angrily in my direction. I am just going to assume that he was cussing me out in chicken; you know, angrily calling me a “motherclucker,” because he was giving me the crazy eyes while doing it.  After all, he was there first. 

                After grabbing the halter and lead rope from the tack room, I make my way over to the field covered in tall weeds to look for the brown and white painted quarter horse named Kiowa. Ironically, the horse was nowhere to be seen but I did catch a glimpse of a fairly large coyote about fifty feet away peeking through the weeds. I knew it was probably more scared of me than I was of it, so I went into the field and began searching for the horse, hoping for a little luck. It was like Kiowa had an invisibility cloak on. How the hell a full grown quarter horse is able to play hide-and-seek in an open field is beyond me, but next thing I know, I am at the opposite side of the field fighting the combined forces of bugs, weeds, and thorns while Kiowa is waiting nonchalantly for me by the entrance that I started my safari, bobbing his head in mockery while watching me stumble through the brush in amusement.

                I made my way back to him, feeling like I was playing a strange form of hop scotch from all of the piles of poop I was trying (and failing) not to step in, and finally put the halter over his neck. Something his Kiowa’s eyes seemed to be saying to me, “Did you enjoy that?  Was that uncomfortable?  It looked uncomfortable.  Where have you been? I’ve been waiting for you right here all this time.” I lead him back to the red barn containing all of the tack and took out the very heavy western saddle that was provided. After grooming Kiowa and putting on all of his gear, I brought him to the arena, shoved my foot in the stirrup, grabbed the horn, and threw my other leg over.

                At first we began with a steady walk. I brought him over, under, and through, a variety of obstacles to help him get over any fear. Surprisingly, even though he isn’t well trained, he did this without hesitation and with ease. All was going smoothly until I asked him to trot. As soon as I squeezed my legs together and saw the way his ears laid back on his head, I knew I was about to get some serious attitude. Kiowa did not appreciate me expecting him to go at any speed beyond “walk.”  After all, it was a hot summer day, and Kiowa had no plans for the afternoon.  He was in no rush. I, on the other hand, didn’t give a damn about what he wanted and expected him to go faster when asked. Since Kiowa didn’t believe that he should go any faster, he began to buck.

                I’ve dealt with bucking horses before and let me tell you, they are a pain in the ass. The best way to handle a bucking horse is to not get off and keep going. If you get off of a horse when they are misbehaving, they will learn that if they misbehave, they get their way, so they will continue to be a jerk. By the end of the training lesson, both Kiowa and I were dripping in sweat and I pulled several muscles in my back but we ended on a positive note and there was a lot of licking and chewing on Kiowa’s part.

                A bucking horse reminds me of life. Sometimes you go through something that you think is going to be easy and smooth and then you realize that the situation turns out far different then you thought it would but just because you are on a “bucking horse” doesn’t mean that you give up and get off. It means that you need to work through it because in the end, the situation will teach you an important lesson. Don’t give up on something just because it is harder than you thought it would be. If you just pull up your boot straps and keep going, you never know where you will end up and in the end maybe all of that work you put in will teach you an important lesson and take you to places you only dreamt you would go.