Societal Oppression

Society and media instills in our minds that if we are socially accepted then we will find happiness. Media tell us the rules to go by through the “latest trends” and then society is expected to follow these rules without protest or question. If we do not follow them, we are emotionally and verbally beaten until we do by the peers around us that blindly follow these rules. If you don’t believe me, look at the posts that you see online by women and men who choose to not follow the rules of society. In this alone, you will find people that have gone out of their way to degrade the person that they don’t even know, trying to convince them that because they are different, they are “less than” and putting it under the false label of constructive criticism.

                These rules were put in place by opinionated individuals in influential positions, then followed by the masses who at times will go out of their way to enforce these rules, even if that means causing emotional and even at times physical harm to an innocent person.

An example of a common “rule” set by society is the separation of clothing, according to gender. Women’s clothing is normally sexualized to society’s standards and cut in a certain way to better display the shape of her breasts, childbearing hips and back end. Patterns in female clothing are typically limited to what society claims is feminine which is usually flowers, butterflies, and containing shapes and designs that are softly curved or contoured to a shape simulating the curves of a female body, in addition to emphasizing on the preferred body shape that is currently in style. Occasionally you see shirts with memes containing quotes that are considered to be “cute” and containing witty comments or ones based on a pop band. Male clothing is cut looser and normally contains bold colors and shapes that are seen to be masculine. The memes that are found on shirts are either crude, alcohol based, about a rock band, sexually suggestive, humorously sarcastic, in addition to the typical cartoons which are normally based off of popular shows that are violent in nature. Male shorts tend to be longer while female shorts are sometimes cut so short that the bottom of our butt sticks out, like reverse cleavage.

                When it comes to gender, the view point of today’s society is so limited that if we see a female with a short haircut wearing the labeled “male” clothing, we automatically associate her physical appearance with her sexuality and we are shocked when they do not always correlate. If a male is seen in women’s clothing with long hair, he is automatically degraded and shamed beyond reason, to a cruel extent.  

Society tells us what is masculine and feminine and demands that we submit to them. They force everyone into these categorized boxes and demands that everyone must fit in these boxes with a smile on their face, even if that means denying themselves of expressing what they truly like. Though society parades the fantasy of individualism, unfortunately most people are too afraid of the back lash they will receive, whether large or small, for truly being themselves. So they unknowingly submit for the fear of being reprimanded.

One of the first steps to finding real happiness, is to strip away the fear of rejection and dive into your soul, figuring out who you truly are and what you truly like. Be true to yourself. Not to put a morbid twist on things, but we have a 100% mortality rate. Do you really want to be on your death bed and realize that you were never truly yourself? So if you want to dress up in a tutu wearing an umbrella on your head, do it. Fucking do it. In the end the most beautiful part of you isn’t what you show others, but who you truly are on the inside. If you are true to yourself and openly show that, you will become a beacon of light for others, inspiring them to do the same.

My Addiction

So I have officially banned myself from Trader Joe’s, at least until I eat all of the food that I bought. Trader Joe’s, much like crack is to crack heads, has become my addiction. Between the deliciously odd and local foods that they display so proudly in their refrigerated and freezer section, and their inexpensive organic fruits, I have come to the realization that Trader Joe’s is my kryptonite.

This addiction is not helped by the fact that I pass by this hypnotic grocery store with large red letters, every day and every time I pass by this blasted store, I am left wondering if there is an excuse for me to go in to get something—which unfortunately there usually is and it usually has to do with flowers, fruit, and cheese.

Now before you tell me that I am being dramatic and telling me that I am sure this addiction is not that bad, let me tell you this… I somehow beyond me, have been spending around $300 a week on groceries for one person. My cabinets are loaded with so much food that I had to rearrange my entire kitchen to make more room for the “food I haven’t tried yet” section and even had to give some of my stuff away for “cabinet space.” I have so much food in my house right now, that if an asteroid hit this planet right now and I had to survive off of what I had, I would have no worries whatsoever. I probably could feed a few friends too!

My problem with Trader Joe’s isn’t so much sales, because quite frankly I really don’t think I ever see them. My problem is that everything is so cheap that it feels like everything is on sale. So naturally, I feel like I have to buy it all, especially the things that you know you shouldn’t eat but you want to eat… like cake and cookie dough—God yes.

Hello There Doctor

                So today I woke up to rain pattering on my window, while the question lingered in my head, “Why the hell am I up so early?” Slowly the horrific realization sank into my head that today is V-day-- the day that my vagina goes to battle with the gynecologist. This is the one day a year that I dread more than spring cleaning my disaster house with a hangover.

                When I finally pull up to the office, I look at the ominous windows trying to figure out why anyone would choose to have this job.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad there are doctors that specialize in my “Vag-health,” but it is definitely not a job that I would want to have. I can’t imagine the horrors they have seen, which is probably the reason why most of the gynecologists I have come across seem to have no sense of humor.  

                After walking through the dreary rain, I step into a bright office and walk up to the woman behind the counter. She seemed awfully happy to be working the front desk and quickly asked me if I had my insurance card and my ID on me. I quickly pulled it out of my dinosaur green purse and as I was doing so, was asked if I had an emergency contact. For some reason I find this to be a nerve racking thought as I wonder to myself, “why I would need an emergency contact? Is there the possibility that I might go into shock during this yearly pap-smear?”

                As soon as I hand her the cards, I rush into the bathroom to pee because for some reason the random fear of accidentally pissing myself when prongs are shoved in me, came into my mind. What I didn’t realize is that #1 the lady was asking me though the door for me to pee in a cup and #2 apparently I am really good at locking myself in bathrooms but not very good at getting back out.

                Five minutes and two nurses later I am finally freed from solitary confinement. As I stumble out of the bathroom while trying to maintain some sort of dignity, the nurse then asks me in front of a room full of waiting women, “Did you happen to pee in a cup?”

                “No, but I promise I’m not pregnant!” I said as cheerfully as possible with the realization that I just released the specimen they needed in the porcelain throne. “Is that what you’re checking for?”

                The nurse’s face became flat as she said, “no.” She then quickly turned around and walked away, going back to whatever vaginal duty she had.

                “I might be able to make some more,” I wearily called after her while patting my stomach. She didn’t respond and instead disappeared behind the wooden door.

                I am finally called to the back by a petite woman with a thick Ukrainian accent. She takes me to a room and tells me to go stand on the scale. With hesitation I look at the scale, knowing that I won’t like whatever number they throw out to me-- which is why I refuse to have a scale in my bathroom. I prefer just eyeing my weight. Do I look healthy? Yes. No number needed.

                “Do I have to?” I ask the tiny woman standing in front of me.

                “Yes it is needed,” she responds with a look of annoyance.

I immediately begin to take off every piece of crystal I had on my body, including multiple rings and bracelets because there is no way that I am getting on this satanic machine with anything unnecessary that might add onto the number. I then tell her, “My underwear and my bra weigh too much, please take off an additional ten pounds in consideration for that.” Yes, I do admit that I was sporting a good old pair of granny panties because cute panties are only worn when someone other than my dog can see them.

Once I step on the machine and she measures my numbers, I ask her if this is even accurate. She tells me it is, so I then insist that I go to another one because, “This one is lying to us.” She agrees to do this and takes me to another scale which I’m pretty sure lied to me also. Once this is done, I step into the gynecology interrogation room where I am sat in front of a grumpy lady with a scowl on her face, the gynecologist. She then begins to ask me numerous questions, some of which I am still not sure why she asked. For example, “Have you ever had an eating disorder?” In all my years of doctors spelunking in my cave, I have never had someone feel the need to ask me about what I do or do not put in my mouth. I admitted that I had in the past had an eating disorder and she asked me if I still had an eating disorder and if I saw a therapist. I told her that yes I used to see a therapist for it and no I currently am not barfing up my food.  She then asked me why I am there to see her and I told her that I was there for my yearly and some good old birth control. She asked me if I was sexually active, on which note I laughed and I said, “No you would be the most action I’ve seen in months! I need the birth control because I want to rip my uterus out if I don’t, because my period cramps feels like I’m exorcising a demon.”

After that, she takes me into another room where she tells me to get naked and put on a paper sheet which was folded on the table. She then stepped out of the room. I never understood why gynecologists do that. This woman is about to be all up in my junk and see me butt naked but has to step out of the room to give me privacy so that I can get naked.

I shrug my shoulders and take off my clothes before beginning to attempt to unfold the paper sheet. As I am unfolding the sheet, I realize that this paper has sections that are glued together and I can’t figure out what goes where. Three rips later, I try to stick my head through what I believe is the hole where my head goes through. That rips the sheet so badly that two sections drop to the ground. So I give up and sit naked on the table until she comes back.

A few seconds later I hear a knock on the door and the woman steps in the explosion of confetti that I accidentally created. Rolling her eyes she takes another sheet out and points to the holes saying, “These are for your arms and it’s open in the front.”

“What is the point in wearing a paper sheet dress that is entirely open in the front? How does this make any sense?” I wonder to myself as I lean back and put my legs in the stirrups.  As soon as the doctor comes around, I immediate say, “I did a courtesy shave. Let me know if there are any problems down there.”

Although quick, I still hated the procedure that she did. I always do. Every time I get a pap smear done, I always wonder if this is what it feels like to get probed by an alien and then I begin to wonder if all of those alien abduction stories are based off of what happens in the gynecology appointments.

Well as you see, I have survived the appointment and the final message that I was told by the doctor was that everything looked normal down there and by that I’m assuming that she meant my junk did not mutate into some other organ over the span that I was there. I guess I won’t be using my emergency contact. 

Global Suicide

We are creating a planet buried in our own filth, simultaneously committing global suicide, genocide, biocide, and ecocide. The more that we advance, the more that we destroy, like an unstoppable virus that has taken over our once-healthy host planet. Walk into any major city and look at the horizon; you can see the pollution weighing heavily like a massive beige cloud. That cloud is a poison that we breathe into our fragile bodies while we live amidst the trash that litters our streets, our parks, and our beaches.

That plastic bottle you saw on the side of the road will take between 450 to 1,000 years to decompose because the person that threw it out of their window decided that this planet- our home- is their trash can. Videos of sea turtles screaming out in pain as trash is being pulled from their bleeding nostrils has surfaced all over the internet, while other photographs and videos show corpses of animals and birds with guts full of the trash that we discarded and they accidentally consumed. While we may not like to admit responsibility for these actions, every piece of trash that slices open an animal is the result of our species’ irresponsibly and carelessness. We are at fault and almost every species on this planet is suffering in some way or form.

Lush, beautiful rainforests used to cover 14% of the planet’s surface yet to this day only 6% remains and that percentage is rapidly shrinking at the rate of 1 acre per second. We tear down the homes of millions of different animals because we believe that our agenda has more worth than their life; yet by doing this we are shooting ourselves in the foot by polluting our largest fresh water source and destroying the trees that filter the air that we breathe. The runoff from the agricultural fields that replace the rainforest are polluting our largest fresh water sources, making the water undrinkable. Only 1% of our water sources are accessible and available for human consumption. These water sources are depleting at an alarming rate while our population is ever increasing. What exactly is humanity going to drink when it is all gone? Why are we destroying what helps us survive?

Due to poaching and rainforest destruction amongst many other human activities, scientists have now informed the public that we are bordering the next mass extinction. According to the World Wildlife Foundation, “The rapid loss of species we are seeing today is estimated by experts to be between 1,000 and 10,000 times higher than the natural extinction rate,” and this is due almost exclusively to human activity. Soon our grandchildren will be viewing tigers and mountain gorillas among thousands of other species the way that we view dinosaurs; creatures only to be found alive within the pages of a book, but never to be seen with the naked eye.

                Here we are as consumers, standing in the middle of a consumer-based society, arguing over whether or not climate change is actually happening and no matter what evidence is shown the argument is an endless one. This isn’t a zombie apocalypse, y2k, or some other scare tactic for those that love a good dose of drama. This is the result of human activity as a collective whole impacting the planet that we live on to a detrimental point. Climate change is serious enough of an issue for global leaders to hold a conference in Paris, inviting officials from nearly 200 countries to meet and come to an agreement to reduce climate change. Global warming is not a conspiracy to alarm people and it isn’t a concept made up by Al Gore. This is real and it is happening. Change starts with the individual and needs to happen for the sake of humanity’s collective future. Procrastination is our biggest enemy; the actions need to happen now. One doesn’t have to go to extremes, wearing burlap in the woods while deodorant becomes more of a memory than a hygienic effort. There are little things that you can do to help that won’t take much effort and these little things you do will make a big impact. Remember a single pebble can stir an entire pond. 

Punished For Helping Those In Need

                “We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked, and homeless. The poverty of being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for is the greatest poverty.” –Mother Teresa

                What does petty theft, possession of an illegal drug, and feeding the homeless all have in common?  They can all land you in jail in over twenty-one cities in the United States and this number keeps growing.  Since January 2013 over twenty-one cities in our nation have criminalized feeding the homeless.  Some of these cities include Fort Lauderdale Florida, Columbia South Carolina, San Francisco California, Houston Texas, Manchester New Hampshire, among many others.  If you are caught feeding the homeless in these cities without a proper permit, you can face fines up to $500 and up to 60 days in jail.  These permits can be expensive.  In Raleigh, North Carolina in order to obtain a one-day permit to feed the homeless in a park costs an outstanding $800.  Let me emphasize that this outrageously priced permit is only good for 24 hours and that $800 dollars could have been used to feed many families in need. This is just another way for irresponsible municipalities to suck more money out of the people that need it the most though either permits or fines.  Local charities are not abundantly wealthy and a lot of them are struggling, barely surviving off of the donations of the caring but because of this law, many organizations have had to cut back on feeding the homeless due to a lack of funds. Now homeless Americans are starving with little hope of being fed by a compassionate individual or even a charity.  What would be the reasoning behind this? Public officials claim that it is for public safety and health while mayors give out pathetic excuses to try and rationalize these heinous laws.  There laws are an inexcusable abomination. They are cruel, they are inhuman and they are enacted by people who are lucky enough to have never experienced homelessness themselves and do not know what it is like to go hungry. Those entrusted with a position of power should not abuse that power in a cruel fashion by pushing through laws that lead to starvation.

                Laws should be put in place to create a civil and safe society, not to stop compassionate individuals from feeding the homeless and treat the humanitarians as if they were criminals.  When a law is put in place to stop one person from helping another and when a law is enacted to legislate against the better nature of our humanity is when the people that put those laws in place have gone too far and crossed moral lines. The twisted and fallacious logic behind putting these laws in place is the belief that by not allowing the homeless to be fed by the generosity of others, it is somehow going to help lessen homelessness and help increase general public safety; or more cynically will cause the homeless to move to another, more welcoming community to make the homeless their problem while also increasing their own property values. These people see the homeless as a problem and their way to solve this problem is to remove what keeps them alive. Homeless people are already at the lowest point of their life.  To be treated as less than human, not even allowed to be fed by a Good Samaritan under threat of statutory punishment is a morally reprehensible.  We are a just nation and this law is beneath us and should have never been seriously considered by any American community.

                The unfortunate thing is that many American citizens are not aware that these laws are in place and have been treated as if they were a criminal when these repugnant laws are enforced.  This is what happened recently to a young man by the name of Zach from San Francisco only a few weeks ago.  Zach was giving a warm meal to a shivering homeless man late at night when two officers approached them.  The officers then preceded to harass the homeless man for staying in one location for too long and when Zach stood up and asked that they just allow the homeless man to eat a warm meal before having to move, the officers then harassed and threatened to fine Zach for his compassion because he contravened an immoral law by feeding someone who was hungry without a proper permit.  Zach stood his ground risking legal repercussions and stood up for the starving stranger beside him, and eventually the police relented, but only after it was pointed out that they were being unjust and cruel. 

                Zach’s actions should be a beacon of light showing us how we should act.  We are Americans.  We are a nation of people who are passionate about bringing justice and relief to our neighbors and showing compassion to those in need.  It now time to write to the mayors of these cities and tell them how we feel about these morally bankrupt regulations being put in place.  Let’s stand up for the underdog, the ones that are going hungry and need our help, and tell those in charge that these laws are unjust, un-American and should be removed immediately. American citizens should never fear legal prosecution for doing the right thing; we should never legislate against mercy and charity.  How dare these leaders persecute the Americans most in need of help!  How dare they punish the sympathetic and generous for alleviating suffering.  We are a strong nation filled with citizens that hold strong opinions and our opinions can be heard.  We will move mountains when the cry is loud enough, so let’s unite and stand up for those that cannot stand up for themselves.  Callous bureaucracies and self-interested politicians have thrown down the gauntlet, and we must pick it and defend the defenseless.  A measure of a good society is not how it worships its greatest citizens but the quality of its mercy to its least members. 

We are too Strong to Fear

     Since the trauma of the events of 9/11, Americans have had a deep fear of extremists infiltrating our nation and putting both our lives and the lives of families in danger. Fear is a powerful weapon. It is an ancient weapon, used since the beginning of civilization to control the masses. The memory of 9/11 still weighs on our hearts; many Americans allow this fear to turn into unjustified hatred and direct it towards anyone who happens to follow the same religion associated with the extremists.

      When the terrorist attacks occurred in France after the Syrian immigration began, our nation as a whole stood solemnly in reverence to those that had lost their lives. To show our support, Americans everywhere turned their Facebook profile image to an image of the French flag along with sending out messages about prayers and reverence. When a Syrian passport was found by the body of one of the terrorists, the message that terrorists infiltrated Europe by pretending to be refugees, spread through America like wild fire. Memories of 9/11 flashed through our citizens’ heads as many of us became afraid to allow these refugees to enter our nation. The messages of reverent condolence and support quickly transformed into messages of hate and fear. The initial act of terrorism may have been over ten years ago, but still feels like it just happened yesterday and we collectively see through the prism of that fear when it comes to the Muslim religion as a whole. A handful of extremists does not define an entire religion as a whole.

      Quickly in the course of the criminal investigation into the terror in Paris, authorities quickly learned that the terrorists were not Syrian refugees but were in fact all EU citizens from France and Belgium. The Syrian passport that they found is believed to be planted because it was a passport of a Syrian soldier that had died months before. Why would it planted? Because the terrorist group that label themselves as “ISIS” wanted to engrain this fear in as many people as they possibly can. Fear is an effective means to control the masses and fear is the tool that ISIS uses to perpetuate its reign. France decided that fear will not stop them from helping those being terrorized and abused by these thugs, and they fought bullets with flowers. Bullets is what ISIS wanted, violence, fear, and to cause others to say that they will no longer take in those that are escaping their terrorism. When France held up a signs that read “NOT AFRAID,” that was worst thing that they could do to ISIS because that meant that they failed in creating terror. They failed to control France.

Let’s think of this like an abusive relationship, where ISIS is the abuser that Syrians are the abused.  The Syrians are fleeing ISIS’s cruelty to find peace and hope. That is something that ISIS does not want because if there is hope of a better future for those that ISIS is terrorizing, then ISIS loses its power.  

       The Syrians fleeing for their lives are not terrorists, they are victims. Do you remember how you felt on 9/11?  Do you recall that gut-wrenching, twisting feeling that made you sick to your stomach? The Syrians feel this fear every day and want to escape it, and they are begging us to show compassion and help them. Instead of being understanding and saying, “We know what it’s like to be afraid for the lives of our families and ourselves. You will find refuge here,” we are instead closing our borders and saying, “Your kind doesn’t belong here.” Imagine how heartbroken and hopeless you would feel if the tables were turned and you were in their shoes. 

      We have to stop looking at these people from a religious perspective and start looking at them as human beings, willing to risk their life for the chance to be free. This nation was founded on refugees, our ancestors, escaping for a chance at freedom and a life free from fear. We hit the natal jackpot by being born within the borders of a free country. Instead of holding onto our borders and screaming out “MINE!” let’s open our hearts to those in need and allow more innocent humans to have the chance to live a life without fear; a privilege we Americans enjoy. We cannot change the reality for everyone in the world, but it would mean the world to everyone whose realty we change. Let’s show ISIS what their terrorism means to us by fighting their horror with love and opening our doors those that so badly need it. We are a strong and proud country, let’s not hide behind our borders. Let’s show ISIS how strong a nation we truly are by standing united against their brutal, sadistic regime. ISIS may consist of people with hearts full of hate but we can resist with hearts full of love. Remember, a single candle can reduce darkness to mere harmless shadows.

Turkey and Greed

When I was a child my family would sit around the table after our Thanksgiving meal and hand out five toothpicks for each member of the family. Each of us would then go around the table and name out five things that we were thankful for in our lives and each time that we would name out something, we would have to set down a toothpick. After this traditional ritual was finished, we would clean up our dinner plates and spend the rest of the day enjoying each other’s company. Our hearts would be filled with thankfulness not just for our lives, but because we had each other.

Alas, time marches on. I grew up and moved out of my family’s house, and I discovered the incredible deals that happened on “Black Friday.” Because I didn’t have a lot of money, I would save up for months, scraping together whatever I could spare. My new Thanksgiving ritual would be after almost enjoying a celebratory Thanksgiving frozen pizza, I would rise early the next morning and go Christmas shopping for my family so that I could afford gifts that year. No matter how poor I was, I still always found a way to get my family Christmas gifts.

This year, after volunteering for kitchen duty to help feed the homeless, I decided to make my way down to New Jersey so that I could see my sister and go shopping when the sales began. Unlike all of the other years where I would be excited as I headed out to enjoy some Black Friday shopping, this year was different. I guess you could say that I changed.

Instead of looking at all of the stuff that I could buy, I looked at the shoppers waiting outside in long lines anxious and restless for stores to open. With excited anticipation, they spoke to one another about everything they planned on buying for themselves. Not once did I hear anyone mention doing any charitable act for a child who won’t get gifts this year. They spoke about these items, these “things” as if they needed them to survive, looking nervously at the people standing in front of them in the line, while openly expressing the hope that the store won’t run out of stock before they can get their new “toy.”  

It occurred to me then that Thanksgiving is no longer a holiday to remember how grateful we are for what we have in our life.  Instead it has become a holiday preying upon peoples’ wallets and fears. We are drawn in by a few “deals” and creeping a head start earlier and earlier every year in fear that the next shopper will get a deal that we will miss out. We are already a society where our insecurities are manipulated so that we crave what we don’t have. We are made to feel “less than” because our smart phone isn’t the latest model, that our television isn’t the biggest yet as thin as a playing card or that our kids aren’t wearing the overpriced sneaker of the athlete of the week. Now on the Thanksgiving Day, the one day in the year specifically set aside where we are supposed to be thankful, we now fill it with fear, avarice and even violence. This herd mentality of fear and acquisitiveness is so great that even lives are lost from people being trampled and crushed as the doors of retails open, and for what? To find that item that you have been wanting for half price and you could have bought yesterday and will likely be able to buy again after Christmas? A human life is worth that?

While children are going hungry in the world, we live in a society that has taken the one day a year to be grateful for what we have been extremely fortunate to be given and corrupted it with materialism and greed. We have become prisoners to “want”, always wishing for what we don’t have and when we finally get it, we forget it in the haze of memory and desire something else. 

I think we as a society should take a step back and evaluate our how we live our own lives. We have so much to be thankful for and we don’t need the newest cell phone or biggest T.V. Instead of wasting our money on an item that will collect dust in six months, why not use some of that extra money to buy a homeless person a meal or buy a family in need some food? There are so many good things that we can do with our lives.  Carelessly spending, constantly wanting more, materialistic and beyond, isn’t living a life of gratitude but instead is living a life of greed. Be thankful for what the universe has set in front of you. Stop looking at what you don’t have and start seeing what you do have. Once you do that, you will be surprised at how abundant your life actually is. If you live in the United States, I guarantee you your life is better than most. Take a moment, reflect and be thankful.